Jan 31

Jan 31 Birth Prep (a Natural Mama's tips)

Birth Prep (Victoria’s Story)

Listen to the podcast here.

Tip #1: Surround yourself with positive stories. Ina May’s books are amazing. She ran a birth center and shares so many beautiful natural birth stories and tips to help understand how wonderful birth can be!

A Simple Plan

Mental Prep (The mental becomes the physical)

Take a Spinning Babies class ($27, or just do the free exercises!)
Take a birth class (not associated with any hospital, favorites below)
Get educated. (birth options, positive birth stories, pain management)
Consider a doula or birth partner

Physical Prep:

Pay attention to posture all day for alignment - make space for that baby!
Mild exercises (spinning babies plan): walk, muscle contractions, flow
Chiropractic care (by someone who specializes in pregnancy)
DRINK LOTS OF WATER
Eat well (no sugar or canola oil, and find a good prenatal).

Some Background

Before I knew anything about birth, I just assumed everyone gives birth in a hospital, under as much pain medication as they can give you. But once I learned more, and had two natural births of my own, I feel the need to advocate for this research, and the importance of finding your tribe, even if just virtually by surrounding yourself with positive stories from the past. We are all part of a succession of MANY THOUSANDS of generations of successful births, and it is only very recently we started using the hospital method in the last couple generations (and it really is the outdated method). Sadly, i never felt the need to advocate for women’s rights UNTIL I became pregnant and a mom. The hospital setting really emphasizes how research into a woman’s body has been pushed aside for the ease of a [typically male] doctor, and we need to bring back the more feminine intuition around birth. And the science backs us women up! It is the male model of medicine that is superstitious and based on outdated methods. Everything is not better with medicine. At first we wanted everything medicine had to offer, but once it is available to us, we realize we are better off without it! (aside from the worst cases, where those emergency doctors are literally life savers. 90% of the time, they are all unnecessary, and should NOT be the default model of care).

While still in the hospital after each of my sons were born, I shocked all the professionals.

I had two totally natural, unmedicated births that I consider totally life changing, empowering experiences.

I do not say this to brag, but to help women, AND MEN, understand what is within the range of possibilities for birth. (Men need to be brought into these discussions, too. Women need support!)

During labor, one of the nurses said we should be on a billboard for our managing of labor (I can thank my husband and doula for their hip squeezing and support).
Every time a nurse came in, they were shocked that I had no tearing, no swelling, minimal blood loss, and was walking immediately after birth to use the bathroom unassisted and with ease.
After birth, the pediatrician came in, read the chart, and said I should write a book. He also said all the doctors were talking about us back there in the office as if we were superstars.
APGAR scores for both of our sons were both 9 and 8. (hardly any baby gets a 10 and 10). We should be sharing and studying what affects these scores!

No, I am not a superwoman. Yes, natural birth was hard, but not nearly as hard as it was for my fellow moms who chose pain medication options that - yes, got them numb (maybe), but also had lots of side effects, and also gave them much more pain in the way of prolonged recovery.

While every mom may not want to go the same route, EVERYONE (men and doctors included) should understand what a normal birth looks like, and that a great birth experience is possible- without medication. In fact, a lot of the modern techniques are incredibly outdated and based on stigma/tradition, not evidence-based practices. And we have a lot of research to back how some simple techniques can help every woman have a better birth experience, no matter what kind of birth she chooses to have.

I recently told a group of moms at wine night that I had two med-free natural births. Everyone thought I was nuts. But I, by-far, had the least trauma and easiest recovery, and can even say amazing experiences with both births (many close to me thought the first was a fluke positive experience, and my prep silly). I feel like I have to tell my story to break the stigma around giving birth without pain meds, and let mama’s (and soon-to-be mama’s and daddy’s) know more than the basics taught in the hospital. All of this is also totally supported by research to be great for mom and baby- with the right preparation. Yes, I did lots of prep!

Another laugh- PREPARATION for birth? What in the world do you mean?

No matter what kind of birth you want to have, there are some simple techniques to help set up the birth for best possible outcomes for mom AND baby. A main goal is to help guide the baby into the best birth position, and help mom be in the best mental state for birth (and it is less woo than you think…).

Mental Prep

Lots of research exists into proven ways to have the most enjoyable experience during birth, and best health outcomes for mom and baby. There are some things every family should know when prepping for birth:

Watch these videos! Spinning Babies Class, $27

The first place I would tell any expecting parents to start is to check this class out. If you only do one thing, watch this 1 hour video.
This should be a required course. Want to understand MORE THAN THE DOCTORS about how the baby descends through the birth canal, in just an hour? Plus all the positions mom can practice before birth and during labor to help everything move along.
Believe it or not, most doctors are just trying to PUSH or PULL the baby out- it really is that simple. All their techniques focus on forced contractions (with artificial hormones to pump your uterus harder than your body would ever do), or to pull, or cut, that baby out. In reality, that is not that scientific.
Spinning Babies has made a science out of studying the movements of baby and the rotation we would want that child to have in to have the easiest (and quickest) birth possible. And things mom can do to get the baby there!
Many times birth “stalls” because of 1 of 2 reasons: mom is scared, or the baby is positioned in a funny way. We can work on both of these.

Birth Classes

If you are willing to spend $300, one of these birth classes should give you everything you need to know about getting educated for birth, and learn what kind of birth you want to have. I would just pick one.

Evidence Based Birth, PHD clinician turned birth advocate.

Also amazing podcast series with 300 episodes, and printed pocket guides!
This is for the mama that wants those scientific studies to back up every choice.

Mama Natural, Her week-by-week emailed calendar is amazing, too!

With both of these, you get weekly zoom calls, and lots of videos and handouts.

Each author is incredible, and also have their own books to check out. I’d pick the one you just enjoy listening to more, I love them both. Great for anyone, not just women wanting natural birth,. They tells you everything you could possibly want to know to help make an informed choice from your options.

Don’t waste your time (or money) on the hospital classes (usually $80+).

They just tell you how to be a good patient, and set the stage for you to be subservient. But this is the moment you CAN do some homework so you can know what you want! There is nothing scarier than being in the dark, in the unknown. And your job is to feel strong and empowered to get all the best hormones flowing for this baby to come into this world in the most ideal way possible (for you).

Clearing the fog

Get educated. (birth options, positive birth stories, pain management)

Understand the options available for kinds of births
Learn about the different kinds of pain management options ahead of time
Understand what a NORMAL unmedicated birth looks like (most doctors have never seen one!)
Optional: Learn about positive birth stories (Ina May is a great start)

Most of us are totally in the dark when it comes to birth. Simply put, the unknown leads to fear, which leads to pain.

This fear in birth stems from not understanding it. Being in the dark about anything is scary, and being scared triggers a pain response. We fear things the most when we don’t know what to be scared of- and our imagination is often times worse than anything tangible.
Sure, there are things to worry about with birth, but know those are extreme cases. Know that in most cases, all over the world, a mom and the baby will be taken care of. But education on what KIND of things can go wrong, and also WHAT CAN GO RIGHT can ease mom’s nervousness, and make a huge difference on the kind of sensations she feels during birth.

Giving birth is one of those incredible moments in a woman’s life where her mental state translates directly to her experience.
Know that baby will come out somehow

Birth only lasts about 24 hours or so (plus or minus a day ). But the kind of choices you make during birth (and leading up to it) can lead to a different kind of recovery that can last for weeks, months, or years.
In the scheme of things, the length of labor is not that long. We are fixated on that moment, and it will be over so fast- but the memory of it sticks with us. Does it matter? I argue it does.

Ways to prep

Birth classes can help you understand this timing a little better, while also knowing nothing is totally predictable in birth.

These short number of hours may feel super long in the moment, and you’ll learn once that baby is here, time really is elastic.

“The days are long and years are short.”

The mental becomes the physical.

the way mom perceives the world directly affects how her body reacts. Fear acts as a trigger- it can shut her vagina up like a locked clam (just like it can during sex). This fear process is what we want to avoid most during labor. Mom has to go into it knowing she will be a fighter through this. Calm, prepped, and ready to hold that precious baby and protect them like the strongest mama cub that ever existed.

One of the visualizations i loved was thinking how much I would put myself through to save my own baby. Might be a bit dramatic, but I only really needed to go there in the last few contractions and while pushing.
Most of my other visualizations were about my vaginal gently opening like a flower, or riding a wave (surfing) rather than being pummeled by the waves. If it gets too much? Dive into that water and swim beneath the turbulence. Think about that pain, stare at it, wonder what it is and what if feels like.
Write down some birth mantras and visuals. I printed out my favorites (attached at the end), along with other things i wanted printed and left in my glove box for the big day!.

What does it feel like?

Most of that will be in early labor with some minor cramp-like contractions. This can even last days.
Most women report contractions are pretty easy to cope with until about 3 to 7 cm.

Once you are at 3 cm, celebrate! Many hospitals use all kinds of techniques to get you here and get the whole thing started.
Once you reach 7cm (out of 10cm), things can start to get really intense. But it also means you probably only have a few hours to go.
At 10 cm, know it is GO TIME, and it will all be over SO SOON! You just ran a marathon, now it is time for that sprint. Know you can do anything at this point.

How to perceive pain

Birth is NOT torture. It is NOT like having a tooth pulled. You know why? YOUR BODY WAS MADE TO DO THIS. Your body created a whole new organ that becomes a temporary home for your baby. It holds- then pushes out- a whole new human. Your body just does it for you. That body is a genius.
But there are some things you can do to help that magnificent body along. Whether you are just planning to have babies, or are mid through pregnancy, or just want to understand the process (dudes should be learning this stuff too!!),

btw- everyone needs to understand the woman’s body better, because in general, we, as a “western” society SUCK at helping mom’s out. Being pregnant was by far the most eye opening experience to understand why women are the underdogs in our society. No matter how much we chear on women’s rights superficially- until we pay more attention to how our babies come into the world, and are supported in the early years, we are still stuck in a terrible time in his-story. Way more recent than the past where women were sacred, and way more old than the last few decades where we pretend women are treated as equals. No more superficially saying we are doing women favors by just offering jobs to empty roles, let’s look how the medical and media systems hold women back- pulling our children down with us.

The visualizations about pain help us to get through some of it most naturally as possible. If everything is progressing well, there is no need to get anything until you need it. Once you accept the hormones, know that will make contractions WAY more painful INSTANTLY, and will make you racing for the epidural. But know labor will get through faster (on average 2 hours faster) if you just get through it. Most pain relief options are crap, hardly work, or only work for 30 minutes at a time (epidural). For me, it wasn’t worth the side effects, and my RECOVERY was WAY simpler than anyone else’s that I know.

Think about it this way, my labor might be more painful in the moment (set number of hours, that baby WILL get here somehow), but recover can be weeks, months, even years for some mama’s that asked for pain meds, and something went wrong. Those who reach for meds that work, are the ones that totally numb their bottom half, and they end up not moving enough to help the baby out in the most optimal way possible, leading to more tearing and potential for C-section or other methods.

And always remember, the meds are always there for you. I like the phrase, “one more hour”. Can you get through one more hour? Then one more? It is great to tell an over-zelous doctor, also, if they are pushing you to move things along faster. “Just one more hour please, before asking me if i need meds.”
I like to think of this moment while I was pregnant. I shut the door on my finger, and it was the most intense pain I had felt in a long time. It hurt so bad- (turned out just fine), but in the moment, i felt the blood pulsing with each surge of pain. So I stared at that pinky. I stared at it so hard and started to ask questions like, what is pain? I swear, it all became numb, and I couldn’t feel the pain anymore. Somehow, that is what I channeled while in the hardest contractions. Don’t get swept up in the pain, breathe and hold someones hand, or do whatever feels good to you. But stare into your body and ask yourself what it actually feels like.

Mental Prep

Much about birth is actually quite similar to sex: it can be absolutely pleasurable, or the worst experience in a woman’s life. Mentality is EVERYTHING. Just think how a sexy moment can be spoiled in a half a second. Birth is like that, too. The mental changes the physical. It changes what hormones are produced, it changes how “wet” mom is, and most critically- it turns a moment that could be the most empowering in her life to being the most scarring.

In both instances, sex and birth, which are incredibly similar, (and use the same canal), both acts can be incredibly animalistic- in that the more we turn inwards, the more we focus, the better time we will have. The more we get OUT of our heads, the better experience we have.

Compare it to sex.

just think about sex with your partner. If you are with them and thinking about your to do list, how good is that sex? Compare that to one where you think about every touch, every lick, react to every subtle moment with passion… completely, different, and your partner will notice that too. IF a woman really wants to get in the moment, and if a partner wants to learn to be a better partner, get out of your head (the prefrontal cortex really is the most recentlty developed, and you can say, LEAST developed), if you pay attention to sounds, breaths, touch, and FOCUS on your partner, you will have such a better time.

Same with birth. While birth may not be orgasmic (some women actually say it is orgasmic… just FYI to learn what is in the realm of possible, see Ina May’s books)…
For most women, birth is not quite orgasmic, but it can be incredibly empowering. Birth takes the same amount of calories as running a marathon. And with the right kind of prep, that race can kick her ass or make her feel like the strongest damn being in the world. Birth can leave a woman feeling in touch with all her woman warrior ancestors that brought to LIFE the most incredible thing she could ever imagine. Yea, it is fucking spiritual. YOU ARE CREATING LIFE WITH YOUR BODY. With, hopefully in best cases, a version of yourself and the person you love most in the world. But even is less than perfect scenarios, you just created life!!!! Freaking crazy. When you dig into it, it is what most cultures and religions started out celebrating around the world- a woman body’s ability to swell up and make more humans. It is a necessary thing and our bodies LOVE to make it happen. It is why sex CAN and SHOULD feel so good.

Physical Prep

Many women will say they WANTED a natural birth, but baby was in the wrong position. Or some other “but”. And that is totally valid! But there are things we can do to help promote our growing baby to BE in the right position.

Paying attention to posture. Try to get that body in a straight line so the baby is not crunched and can descend as easily as possible.

Bay attention to how you are sitting and standing
Try not to be in a car for long periods of time
Try not to lay backwards on a couch. Try to always keep your belly button pointing to the ground like a flashlight. This is to get the heaviest part of the baby (their back) to face your belly button. Spine-on-spine is what HURTS in labor.

Mild exercises (spinning babies has a whole plan for this). - also tons of free videos.

walking (I could do about 7k steps a day while pregnant, compared to usually 10k+. In 37weeks+, i could only walk about 1,000 steps. Just get that blood flowing, gently).

Flexing muscles (contraction) has been shown recently to produce different kinds of proteins, which in turn, help shape the DNA of the baby.

squats are especially good for triggering the largest muscles in the body, and moms can try to do 1 squat per week of pregnancy. (if 30 weeks along, mom should try to do 30 squats a day).
Light walking and stretches. Aim for 7,000 steps per day, but that reduces down to about 1,000 steps in the last 3 weeks leading up to birth. Your body will tell you it doesn’t want to go any further!
Try not to run as your belly gets larger. I ran in my first pregnancy into the 5th and 6th months because I was feeling good, but i think the extra pressure on my pelvic floor caused my muscles around the vagina feel weak.

Mild strength exercises.

Studies have shown a special protein released during compression of muscles. (think weights, squats, yoga balance poses). Some call these “happy proteins”. Well even more incredibly, these proteins are thought to change the STRUCTURE of baby’s DNA to be stronger and more resilient themselves. Seems pretty damn important to me! Basically, the epiginetic idea is that we are all given a set of genes to work with, but because we are mutating species (we do still have tailbones…), we also have a way to CHANGE the structure of our bodies. This happens by the DNA strands wravel and unravel based on things mom and dad and grandparents do while the egg/sperm is in either of their bodies. When genes get copied over, you want the best scripts copied over. If you think about it, those genes are the most important thing you can pass on to the next generation. Eat well, move, and just do some mild contractions of those muscles! Use that body. Gently. Your baby’s future atheletic body will thank you!

Posture

The whole point is to make sure your body is in alignment and the heavier part of the baby (spine) is always being pulled with gravity to mom’s front. Baby’s spine lining up with mom’s spine is what is called “sunny side up”, and just means baby’s bone on mom’s bone, and yes, that hurts! And it means the baby is not in the right position, and often why labor “stalls”. All the proteins and hormones are lined up, but the baby is literally blocked.

Eat well

A good prenatal, vitamin D, probiotic, and fish oil
Avoid corn syrup: sugar is a toxin and a drug (FDA struggles to call it a food).

Just find alternatives as much as possible, like coconut sugar)

Avoid fried foods, throw out canola (or any other vegetable oil). Go for organic avocado or olive oil, and try not to have SUPER high heat (that is how they spoil and cause detrimental oxidative reactions in your brain).
DRINK LOTS OF WATER. the fascia in your skin LOVES THIS. Keep everything supple and lubricated and flowing. Buy yourself a large water bottle and try to fill it up at least twice. (1 oz per body weight is ideal, meaning get yourself that 60 oz water bottle if you can!)

Specialists: Chiropractor

If you have access to it, one of the best things a mom can do during pregnancy, is to see a chiropractor. The idea is to align your spine so that the baby has the easiest way out. It just makes common sense.

How many times? I went every other week starting around 22 weeks, then once a week once I hit 30 weeks. This felt like the most important thing i could be doing.
- (I went weeks 22, 24, 26, then weekly at weeks 27, 28, 29, and babies born next day both times!)
Many times these kind of porfessionals will be out of insurance, but you should be able to be reimbursed for part of it. Often they can be about $200 per session, or $20 with reimbursement. But worth every penny, especially if you find a person you vibe with.
I absolutely adored this woman in the East Bay, and her mentor Dr. Laura Sheehan (north of SF, with a great newsletter!) to help you understand what to be looking for, but find someone who specializes in pregnancy. And pick a woman.
- Many chiropractors will also be great to talk to about vaccine advice, and can also check out your newborn for any helpful ways to align their little bodies after birth!

Often people will end up seeing chiropractors regularly, and that means they are doing something in their daily life that keeps them out of alignment. A good chiro can help you uncover what is setting your body up to be out of balance, like sitting poorly too many hours, etc. If you don’t address the underlying issue, you end up needing to keep coming back for relief. I did it just for pregnancy, then once or twice after for bad posture from breastfeeding and carrying a toddler). I could also see myself going back once a year just for maintenance visits (I like to cross my legs, and carrying around 2 kids has messed up my posture).

Specialists: Acupuncturist

Definitley more of an optional extra, acupuncture has been shown to help reduce stress, in whatever form it shows up in your unique body. Sometimes a pregnant mom just needs more sleep. And the focus of the treatments can be to help calm her down and bring focus there (and just have a calm session to even nap in mid-day with a nice person taking care of you).
I would have one in mind if you are over 40 weeks and want to consider stuff moving along naturally. Remember, it is normal for a woman to go to 41 weeks 3 days if go without any pitocin induced labor. (50% of women average to over 41 weeks!).